Mike Lane, The Baltimore Sun, 8 July '03.
Commentary - Humor - Nonsense - Sarcasm - Satire - Whimsy
On the Road with DR. EVIL
Mike Lane, The Baltimore Sun, 8 July '03.
Vol.
V, No. 8,
A Missive of Irregular Frequency and Questionable Worth
ELEGANCE
IN THE USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
"I think
that we believe there are chemical weapons in
AND
AGAIN! "We must find
Saddam Hussein and his sons. When we do, then the people of Iraq
will no longer live in fear of his return, which is a real and palatable [sic]
state of mind of many Iraqi citizens. You can see it in their faces, you can
hear it in their voices." -- Sen. Pat Roberts, R-Kan. CQ
Try “palpable.”
PRESIDENT BUSH AWARDS SELF MEDAL OF FREEDOM No, not really. The composition of the photo was such that, with appropriate cropping, I couldn't resist the temptation.
QUOTE
OF THE DAY: "Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.
I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the
first." Anonymous.
CARTOONS
ARE FOR KIDS?
During the past 2 weeks Mrs. Evil and I have been entertaining
our two youngest grandchildren, ages 9 and 10. Being kids, and with 6 TVs in our house, channel 40, The Cartoon Network,
could not help but experience some exposure. Now, even at age 75, I still appreciate a good
cartoon, but 90
percent of the stuff available on this channel I consider totally uninteresting.
Obviously, however, I'm missing something. Just look at the
sponsors and you'll understand. In great part, they are obviously NOT aimed
at the pre-teen viewer, unless these youngsters are suddenly having run-ins with
the IRS or are considering refinancing their homes.
During the few hours I forced myself to watch it, there appeared successive ads obviously aimed at adults - or at least those adult in body size. It's a toss-up as to which is the more memorable or disgusting. One featured the obnoxious Roni Deutch, the renowned tax law guru, offering the opportunity to take on the IRS "for just $20." The other featured DiTech, and the persistent offer to put you on financial easy street. You know, featuring loans in which you pay a relatively low interest rate for the first 3 years, after which there is a balloon that carries a rate of 13.4% - or, after 3 years, offers a reduced rate as well as monthly payment, but takes an additional 40 years to pay off and on which you pay twice as much total interest.
Then, forcing myself to continue watching over the course of the next several days, there were ads for Queens of Country (2 CDs or 2 Cassettes of the best in country music - only $19.95), H&R Block Mortgage, Sports on Demand from Time-Warner Cable, Worship Together, The Best of Modern Worship (2 CDs or 2 Cassettes, but for only $9.95), Sandals Royal Bahamian Resort, Freaky Friday the movie, and AOL/Time Warner.
Fortunately, there were some ads for kids, like Kit Kat candy bars, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Zoobooks, Skechers Shoes, and Huggies - although Huggies should probably be listed in the previous paragraph.
While conducting this research, I of course had to force myself to spend a lot of time looking at The Cartoon Network. I take that back. I'm not really 75.
WHAT
IS THIS MAN DOING? GO TO HOT LINK DOING WHAT COMES NATURALLY TO
FIND OUT.
See you at the next rest stop.
Go to Mrs. Evil's Recipe for July, Sy's Olive Bread
Dr. Evil
Contact
Dr. Evil
Why yes, I'm Evil.
