Commentary - Humor - Nonsense - Sarcasm - Satire - Whimsy
On the Road with DR. EVIL
Vol.
V, No. 10,
A Missive of Irregular Frequency and Questionable Worth
SICK EDITORIAL CARTOON OF THE MONTH
Hasan Bleibel, Al-Mustakbal,
Beirut, Lebanon, May 6, 2003
POLITICAL CLIPPING:
"Louisiana
Gov. Mike Foster took another swipe at French President Jacques Chirac
yesterday, calling the leader a 'snake' for criticizing the war in Iraq. The
Baton Rouge Advocate reports that the Republican governor, who criticized Chirac
on the same issue earlier this year, renewed those views during a discussion on
whether the French president would attend ceremonies Dec. 20 to celebrate the
1803 Louisiana Purchase. 'I don't like the way they have done us,' Foster said.
'We have soldiers in harm's risk, and the old boy that runs France still runs
around trying to do us as much harm as he could.' " (C.Q. Midday Report, 26
September 2002.)
Governor Foster is such an eloquent and thoughtful man.
ADS
FOUND AT STATE LINES: Mrs.
Evil and I rather frequently have reason to drive to or through Kentucky,
Tennessee, Georgia, South Carolina and/or Florida as well as Indiana and
Illinois. As one approaches the state lines of some of the above states, billboards take on a sudden change in character. Wendy's, Cracker
Barrel, and Pancake House are still prominent, but a new class of, usually garishly,
repetitive, homemade appearing signs appear, advertising the likes of: "Mad
Max's Firecrackers Next Exit," "Topless Lap Dancer Extravaganza 2 Miles," or "Adult Books and Videos Exit 1." Because they are
concentrated at state lines, I assume they are primarily intended for travelers from the
adjacent state returning home or residents of the host state intending to corrupt the souls of
citizens of the adjacent state. Does that mean that such treats are not
available in the adjacent state? Then too, you never see them scattered
throughout the host state - only near the state line. Does this mean that a guy
has to travel from some distant part of Kentucky, say, all the way to the state
line to buy a girly movie or some sparklers and bottle rockets?
You figure it out.
WANT AD: "Possibly,
the most demanding job in the world."
Boy, that got my interest.
"For the extraordinary individual who wants more than a job. It is a way of life that will challenge your intelligence, self-reliance and responsibility. It demands an adventurous spirit, superior intellect, toughness of mind, personal integrity, courage and love of country."
WOW!! Sounds fantastic. But what kind of person would think of themselves as extraordinary, having a superior intellect, being tough minded, and courageous?
"The minimum of a bachelor's degree is required, preferably with emphasis on international affairs/business, science or technology. Foreign language proficiency is a plus. Interpersonal skills, solid writing ability and a strong interest in foreign affairs are necessities. Maximum age for entry is 35. US citizenship is required."
Nuts, I'm well past 35 - 214%, in fact.
"All applicants must successfully complete a medical examination, polygraph interview and extensive background investigation."
Hmmmm!! A polygraph interview? I wonder if the President of the United States has ever taken a polygraph. Must be one hell of an important job.
"To be considered for employment, please apply online: www.cia.gov."
That figures.
(The above is taken from half and full-page ads appearing for the past several months in the Executive Focus section of the weekly, The Economist - not buried in the back, but in the lead-off page - every time.)
See you at the next rest stop.
Go to Mrs. Evil's Recipe for October, Focaccia Ligur
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