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Vol. IV, No. 5, 1 May 2002

A Missive of Irregular Frequency and Questionable Worth

BALONI HOTNEWS.COM WIRE
FLASH!! Sources close to the bottom rungs of humanity report that fellow inhabitant Ed Fagan, a Texas-cum-New York lawyer with a cause and a hungry wallet, has registered legal complaints against FleetBoston, Aetna and CSX for reparations on behalf of some 30 million or so descendents of black slaves forcibly brought to the United States in the 17th thru 19th centuries.   New York Life, Lehman Brothers, Norfolk & Southern Railroad, Liggett, and Lloyd's of London are to follow. In all, some 60 companies are in his sights. While the legitimacy of such cases and the feasibility of coming up with just decisions are questionable and immeasurably difficult, reparations, if any are realized, could range from tens of billions to several trillion dollars. This is the same shyster who, along with others of his ilk, has developed the "Holocaust Industry," that is, going through the motions of suing German industries and Swiss banks on behalf of the the holocaust victims and their descendents to seek reparations, reparations that were, for the most part, already well underway and close to settlement through the efforts of Jewish officials - then, to the understandable dismay and anger of their Jewish clients, claiming and receiving fees into the tens of millions of dollars. Let's hope that they don't get away with it this time. I suggest that an effort more appropriate for Mr. Fagan might be to seek reparations for all the mules in the U.S. that have been artificially bred specifically to work on our farms, or from all dogs and cats who are referred to by their human associates as being "owned" by them.

QuestionS of the month!! If young Islamic Jihad, al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade and Fatah men who martyr themselves via the percussion cap route are promised 72 virgins in Paradise, what are young martyred women promised? 

What has happened to the Enron story? Has it been crowded out of our consciousness and off the judicial docket by the priestly pedophile gloss-over, Palestinian/Israeli madness, the "war" against the axis of evil, and the NBA/NHL playoffs?  

Because his tour through the Middle East was such a dismal failure, has Veep Cheney been relegated again to the fruit cellar on that farm near Crawford, Texas?  

MORE THAN YOU WANTED TO KNOW
Think twice before asking for driving directions from a woman such as Mrs. Evil. You'll likely get something like this; "You take I-40, to the left, I think. I think that's it. And you pass an outlet mall on the right. If you want to get some good buys on Henckel's knives or at Lane Bryant, take the next exit, turn right, then right again on Washburn Road and go a few miles and you're there. Anyway, keep going straight until you come to, I think, Route 143, or is it 134. I think 143. Turn left. You'll pass a cute little house with the sweetest cafe curtains in the window at the far end of the porch and a beautiful red front door with a brass knocker that looks like a water nymph. Right across the street is a Burger King where seniors can get free coffee. Ed and I stop there all the time. Anyway, you stay on Route 341 for quite a while. Is  that right? No, I think after about a mile, you - - - and they have the best broiled chicken sandwiches - wait a minute. It isn't Route 134, it's - - -."

Well, you've got the idea. 

See you at the next rest stop. Just don't ask for directions. 

Dr. Evil

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Why yes, I'm Evil.

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