Commentary - Humor - Nonsense - Sarcasm - Satire - Whimsy
On the Road with DR. EVIL
Vol. I, No. 2, 15 July 1999
A Missive of Irregular Frequency and Questionable Worth
INTELLIGENCE
REPORT NO. 1
I read an article critical of NATO for not knowing where the Chinese Embassy was in Belgrade. The author noted that the Official Belgrade Web Site, "http://www.beograd.org.yu", contained the current address of the Chinese Embassy. Sure enough! I called it up and there it was, along with hundreds of others, all under "Useful Information." (So can you. Just click on the address.) The "intelligence" within the CIA, I see, is just about at the level we all suspected. They obviously have no use for "Useful Information".
INTELLIGENCE
REPORT NO. 2
The Washington Post recently reported that a CIA spy sold about 25 agency laptops in a public auction, but forgot to delete the top-secret information contained therein. Nobody noticed until a man who bought some of the computers discovered the classified information.
THE
ANTHROPOMETRY OF BOOBS AND MELONS
LONDON (Reuters) - Britain's biggest supermarket chain has asked growers to supply smaller melons after research showed women shoppers subconsciously compared them to the size of their breasts, newspapers reported Monday. The Daily Telegraph said buyers were told by the retail psychologist who carried out the research that a current preference for smaller busts was the reason why traditional big, fleshy melons were remaining unsold. "We were very surprised by the results of the market research," a spokesman was quoted as saying. "But it's certainly produced results. Since we introduced smaller melons two months ago we have sold more than a million." The research showed that seven out of 10 women questioned agreed breast size was "the most likely subconscious factor when selecting size of melon."
See you at the next rest stop.
Dr. Evil
Why yes, I'm Evil.
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