Commentary - Humor - Nonsense - Sarcasm - Satire - Whimsy
On the Road with DR. EVIL
Vol. II, No. 9, 1 September 2000
A Missive of Irregular Frequency and Questionable Worth
A
CAN OF DISTINCTION
At the Netcong/Hopatcong exit off I-80 in New Jersey, we encountered an Exxon Station with the best johns of any filling station anywhere, any time - and the best service. Would you believe that Full Service prices were the same as Self Service. Mrs. Evil reported that the ladies' room was appointed with two bouquets of silk flowers, an embroidered pillow, a nicely painted decoupage country style chair, an air freshener, and a rug in front of the sink on the immaculate and waxed floor. The men's room was no less well decorated, also with two bouquets of flowers (one of which was on a handsome caned chair with a floral design painted on its back), a potted plant, a rose petal filled wicker dish on a little side stand, and a hooked rug wall hanging. Both bathrooms were immaculate - not the expected stench that comes close to burning the hair out of one's nose. After a young man filled our tank, Mrs. Evil commented to him that a woman must be responsible for the care of the bathrooms. He allowed as how the owner's mom sees to their decoration and cleaning.
ENLIGHTENED
VERBIAGE
TOYS"R"US * has announced that it will feature a "life-size" dollhouse in their soon-to-open outlet in New York City. How big do you suppose "life-size" is, as it might apply to a doll house? Is this of the same genre as the "living" ecosystems promoted and defended by politicians?
* My web editor won't let me make a backward "R." Barron's, The Wall Street Journal, my local newspaper, and the telephone directory apparently can't either.
SAY
IT ISN'T SO, OBI-WAN
Alec Guiness died on Sunday night of 6-7th of August. So disgusted was he with his Star Wars role that he threw out his fan mail.
THE
GREAT TESTOSTERONE WARS
Good friends sent Mrs. Evil a clipping from the Ann Arbor, MI, newspaper. The headline reads, "Magazine calls U-M 'anti-male.'" It seems that Men's Health magazine has rated American colleges and universities in terms of their friendliness toward males. The ten most anti-male and most male-friendly campuses are listed. Guess what! Antioch College was listed among the top ten "most anti-male." Duh!! Somehow that doesn't surprise me. Some of you may remember that, a few years ago, there was a movement at Antioch to ban testosterone from Homo sapiens. What impressed me about the article, however, was that Lewis and Clark College was listed among the "most male-friendly." Lewis and Clark is a teeny tiny college in Godfrey, IL. It was formerly Monticello College, an all-women junior college, until several years ago. By coincidence, Mrs. Evil is a graduate of Monticello College. I met her while she was a student at that august institution in the early '50s. I seem to recall that it was exceptionally friendly toward males at that time - especially the student body. Nice to see that this attitude carried over to characterize Lewis and Clark College. Is this evidence that genomes are not limited to living things?
See you at the next rest stop.
Dr. Evil
Why yes, I'm Evil.
